Why Diamonds and I Broke Up

I've been thinking on this post for a long time now, especially since my social media is FLOODED with engagements.

When I was in college and newly engaged to my, now, husband, I spent a long time dreaming of the perfect diamond engagement ring. What setting did I want? What metal? Cut? How BIG would it be?

Courtesy Photo: Google Images

It never occurred to me that I wouldn't get a diamond, because that's what you do when you get engaged. Frankly, I didn't even do my research on alternatives, because what else was there? Cubic Zirconia? Hell to the no. (Famous. Last. Words. )

I tried several different family rings before my husband and I bit the bullet mere weeks before our wedding and drove to the local jewelry store in the mall. No research, no idea of diamond value and markup, and I really only wanted to consider princess cuts. Why? Because that's the only square cut. Right? (Face Palm)

Needless to say, we bought a lovely, dainty little set that cost us an arm and a leg at the time.
Happy Ending, right? Eh, not so much.

Fast forward about a year, and I really got interested in jewelry, stones in particular. Alternative natural gemstones AND created stones really opened my eyes to some pretty rad possibilities. I realized that my ring wasn't really the style I wanted. It stayed filthy because of the setting, and I wasn't in love with the cut. Through trolling message boards like Wedding Bee, Price Scope, and Better Than Diamond, I have been exposed to a lot of information that has really changed my opinion of diamonds.

1.) Markup: According to Dave Roos and John Kelly at How Stuff Works, engagement rings carry a far heftier price tag than the materials are worth. "Retailers mark up diamonds between 50 and 200 percent and 100 to 400 percent for gold [source: DY Jewels]. Warning: The biggest markups typically are found at the mall where there are more overhead costs." Why is this? Well, in part, it's because of killer marketing. After all, "A diamond is forever." Right?

2.) Creative Marketing: Speaking of creative marketing...You can blame De Beers: "By the 1930’s, De Beers, recognizing the shift in wealth from the old world to the new, switched their marketing efforts from Europe to the US. Every American bride they said, deserved a diamond ring...It was even De Beers that came up with marketing slogans that told a young man how much he should spend on a diamond ring. At first they stated that one should spend at least a week’s salary but later, realizing the need to get more out of the market, they changed this to at least a month’s salary." [source: Diamonds or Dogs]. I don't know about you, but once I realized how NOT very precious they were, the marketing kind of left a bad taste in my mouth. I'm not against (conflict free, Eco-friendly) diamonds, but they aren't my first choice now, even with our ability to buy them increasing. 

3.) There ARE quality alternatives!: Aside from the array of gorgeous semi-precious and precious gemstones out there that I wish I had given a chance as an engagement ring center stone (HELLO, white sapphire and pearl!), these days there are far more options on the market for gorgeous stones.

• Moissanite is a gorgeous stone that has a unique history. (It was originally created from a meteorite!) For those who like a warmer stone with MORE sparkle than a diamond, Moissanite is a great choice. A one carat round stone probably costs in the neighborhood of $500, and if you're worried about people spotting a "fake," don't. Most people won't be able to tell.
• Additionally, Asha Diamond Simulants, a CZ with a diamond coating, are known to fool even some jewelers! They are priced even better than Moissanite, and you can get a far wider range of cuts, like Flanders, Asscher, Emerald. They are tough and beautifully done stones that have a cult following among gemologists and sparkle-lovers alike.
• Finally, let's also not rule out high quality cubic zirconia that has been handcut by trained gem cutters and set by skilled artisans. This is not your mama's CZ, girls. My prized, custom made 1 carat Asscher cut engagement ring is just this...High quality CZ that is durable, sparkly, well cut, and has beautiful clarity. It's also conflict free and not so dear that it can't be replaced.

4.) If after doing your research, your heart is still set on being BFFs with a Tiffany-style 1 carat hearts & arrows round, then here are a few tips for smart shopping:

• Mall chains are more likely to have higher mark up. Check out independent jewelers (speak with as many as necessary to find one who is trustworthy and can do what you want). Don't forget that Etsy has a host of skilled artists that create custom pieces.
• Don't be afraid to purchase a "Stunt Double" so you can try on sizes and styles. You can even buy loose CZ from amazing vendors like Diamondcz.co.uk to try on sizes and shapes. Stones are priced as low as a couple bucks in most cases!
• Consider what's important to you: Cut, Carat, Clarity, Color, and (the least stressed C) Cost. If you have a strict budget, you need to know if a whiter, flawless diamond is more important to you than a warmer, included stone that is larger.

I hope some of this has opened your eyes to the possibilities out there! Regardless of what you decide on, take your time and do the research. Make sure you're buying ethically mined stones, and don't be afraid to stray away from the "traditional."  Oh, and if you were wondering? Yes, I sold my diamond engagement ring.

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